who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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