Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
