i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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