I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
