What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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