I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Randomize
