The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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