My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Randomize