I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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