She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
