You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
