But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
