I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
