I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i think my mom watched the whole time
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
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