Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
