I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize