the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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