I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
