There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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