hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
