yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I pour the whiskey from now on
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
