Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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