I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
