I cockslap morals
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
