I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize