so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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