your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize