I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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