i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Randomize
