She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
