ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Randomize
