Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
