I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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