Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Randomize
