Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I love you. Go after that dick
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
