I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
