i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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