I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize