I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
that may or may not have been my penis.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
