nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
