I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
