Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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