He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
