Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
