Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
