This girl is more easily done than said...
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
