also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize