"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
