his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
