Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
