thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
