fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
