somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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