I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
