You're my little dorito
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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