I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
