I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
You can't just leave with hair like that
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
