Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
