Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I don't deserve a penis
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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