So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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