White coat. Heels.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
